


Every Second Ticks Away

by frominsideacomputer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Care Home, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Memories, Non phan, Sad, birthday phan, old man!phan, surprise, very future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:30:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4153650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frominsideacomputer/pseuds/frominsideacomputer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now, Dan’s sitting in the armchair by the window in his room at the care home, being warmed by the 11th of June sun, reading through the birthday cards he has been sent by various friends and family...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Second Ticks Away

**Author's Note:**

> I just liked the idea of Dan and Phil as old people

Dan Howell was an old man now. He was frail, tired and weak. His skin was loosely draped around his skeleton like a shroud. His hands trembled when he wrote anything and his voice did too.   
His children were all grown up and he was a grandfather. He everyday he wished Madeline was still around to be their grandmother. Three years age she’d passed away and Dan missed her every day, but he knew he had to continue with whatever life he had left.

He’d been lucky though, he hadn’t been plagued with sickness. He didn’t have Alzheimer’s or dementia. The only thing which h really suffered from was Arthritis.   
The lack of memory loss meant that he could still remember his days as a ‘vlogger’, as an actor and living with Phil Lester.

Phil.

When he thought about Phil it would always put a smile on his face, remembering all the things they did together. Fourteen long, yet packed years of the best memories and the best friend he could have asked for. They were each other’s best friend and no one could have ever taken that away from them, but like most friendships do, they both realised one day that they were not on the same path anymore and these parallel roads were curving away from each other.   
But it was the best way it could have happened; neither one of them was upset and on the times they met up, it was never uncomfortable or awkward.   
Those few times when they met up. It was quite often to begin with, but usually the excuses were that one of them had found something of the other’s and had to get it back. Then, as time went on they both got busier with their lives and rarely had time for one another.

Phil was travelling, and wouldn’t stay anywhere for long. He really did see the world liked he’d always wanted. He didn’t make new friends in the same way Dan did. Phil met people and got to know them and he heard their stories and he filmed it and he wrote books about the different tales he’d heard, and although he wasn’t the best-selling author of our time, he made money and could afford to travel till his back gave out.

Dan finally fulfilled his dream of being an actor and had performed across Europe by the time he retired. He’d settled down pretty quickly after moving out; he met Madeline at an audition where they both got the parts they’d tried for and, much like Dan had done with Phil, they clicked straight away. Then children came along and Dan found himself the father of three: Charlie, Layla and Nathan.

Now, Dan’s sitting in the armchair by the window in his room at the care home, being warmed by the 11th of June sun, reading through the birthday cards he has been sent by various friends and family. All the messages are so nice and he is so thankful for all the people he got to meet. The only thing that worried his was that he hadn’t heard anything from Phil, and he was worried something had happened without him knowing. But then again, he thought, Phil might not remember his birthday or something.

He heard the room to his room open and he looked up to see his three children carrying a cake and presents whilst singing happy birthday loudly and quite off key.   
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear dad, happy birthday to you!” They set the cake down on the table in front him.   
“You know I never liked surprise parties.” Dan laughed.   
“We can go if you want.” Layla rolled her eyes and sat on the sofa with the other two. She rummaged in a carrier bag and handed Dan a present covered in red wrapping paper. As he looked closer at it, he realised that it was the wrapping paper he and Phil had made.   
“This was intended for Christmas, and where did you find it?” Dan carefully tore the paper off the present, which was wrapped in tissue paper.   
“There was roll of it in the old cabinet at home.”  
“I was in my twenties when it was made.” Dan rolled his eyes and took the tissue paper off the present to reveal a think photo album.

As he turned the pages, he realised that there were several photos from each stage in his life. It began with all the baby photos and when he was really young. Then it moved on to nursery and the early primary school years. One photo in particular showed Dan stood looking very proud on himself dressed as tree.   
“My first time on stage.”

The next few pages showed Dan growing up through school, and his teen years. The infamous photo of him on holiday, where he looks like Zac Efron was happily taking up an entire page.   
“You have failed to embarrass me yet,” He laughed and turned the page. “I spoke too soon.” These two pages had all of Dan’s old Myspace photos, the high angle, emo fringe, lip bite, and earrings ones. These were the few things he really regretted from but when you’re close to ninety, there are few things you can afford to regret anymore.  
Then, the next stage in his life was Phil. There were so many photos of them together, mainly taken from their Instagram’s. There was the photo of them with Baymax, the brit awards – all four years – the last Philisnotonfire and of course, the book. Dan smiled as he thought about those year spent together, practically joined at the hip. He remembered all the times they’d done something stupid on camera, and how successful they had been. He also could remember how close they had been and the way they had been on and off camera. Although they had never been officially dating, they might as well have been by the way they were with one another, especially at home. Dan had never been sure if he’d had feelings for Phil, but it wasn’t like he regretted anything. He knew he loved Madeline and that matter most to him.

He turned more pages and it showed him on stage, and there was their wedding photo. Both their single one and the one of the whole party. Dan’s old eyes scanned it, looking at the guests. There was Phil, stood at the back looking excited, and pleased for Dan. Suddenly Dan realise that he didn’t know if Phil had ever gotten married or had had children and it worried him that he could have missed a wedding or something.

The final photo in the album was of Dan, Madeline and the children. They never had professional photos taken, Dan had enough done for his job and Madeline was a newsreader and didn’t want to spend her entire life in front of a camera. The photo was from their last time together with the children before Dan and Madeline had gone to the care home and before Madeline had died. Dan and her wedding anniversary and they had gone for lunch, the sun had been bright on them and it was a wonderful day. It was everything Dan had really loved about life and his family.

“Dad? Are you okay?” Nathan’s quiet voice interrupted his thoughts and he realised he’d been crying.   
“I’m fine, I just miss her.” Dan’s voice barely above a whisper.   
“We miss her too dad.” Layla reached out and laid a hand on Dan’s to reassure him they were there.   
“Miss everyone from the first photo to the last. I miss my parents, I miss all my friends from school, from university. I miss everyone I used to work with at the radio station, everyone from YouTube and from my life. But the amount I miss them is nothing to how much I miss Phil. He was my best friend, and looking back at all these photos now I realise that I should probably not have stopped seeing him, and I should have tried to get in contact with him and seen him because he would never remember me and I can’t bare knowing that I never really said goodbye to him,” Dan looked up and saw, through teary eyes, all his children smiling at him. “What?”  
“It’s a good thing we know you so well and we knew you were going to say that.” Charlie said, getting up and walking over to the door and opening it.

A tall, skinny and, very silver haired man walked in, a first he was unrecognisable and he could have been anyone. But as Dan’s eyes gazed over the tall figure, he recognised the glittering blue eyes that hadn’t lost their spark in sixty years. He saw that the defined shape of Phil’s jaw had not disappeared and his cheekbones were only hidden by some lines. But his hair was so different to the last time Dan had seen him. It was now a silver, that made Phil look regal and gave him a presence in the room. It flicked around his head, slightly messy but it was still as straight as it always had been.   
As Dan stood up slowly, Phil’s mouth opened into a broad and cracked grin. The kinda of smile that only came about every so often and only on the most special occasions. If it was out today, Dan knew it would be a good day.

Slowly, yet surely Dan made his way past his children and over to where Phil was stood. He looked into those bright eyes, and said with full warmth in his heart,   
“It’d been too long.”


End file.
